Company Name Here

March 9, 2001

5720 McNeil Dr.
Austin, Texas 78729

Dear Sir or Madam:

*Please excuse my son, Oliver Wong, from missing school on Friday, March 9^th.  He woke up in the morning with a saturated lingua (wet tongue), later we found that he was suffering from formications of his ocular orb (itching eye), as well as the abdications of many cells within his outer epithelial layer. (Death of skin cells)

During his condition, his alimentary canal was forced to work in order to transubstantiate foreign objects such as docosahexaenoic acids he ingested after eating fish. (Intestines digesting fish) Luckily, the doctors found no signs of GI bleeding or sympathicoblastoma. (Just random disease stuff) Unfortunately, it took him the majority of Friday to recuperate so that he could rejuvenate his external integument. (skin)

I understand that this condition may have rapidly spread Thursday night, similarly to the Angel of Death upon ancient Egypt - selectively choosing which house-holds and who to affect, which may explain why many of his friends were also out for the day. 

             Back to the point, I would just like to make sure Oliver Wong is excused for March 9^th.  Please treat him with respect and loving kindness, and unlike a subordinate inferior specimen who cannot be trusted and must be destroyed.

Thank you,

Susan Wong
Mother

* Red text is "translation" - not in "real" version