The Huck Paradox By: Telay Vizon

There is one question that plagues us all. "What if Huck Finn was running at the speed of light and spit?" You know you ask it everyday. It is the one question that all of us seek the answer to. What is the answer?

At the National Huck Institution, they have a handful of possible answers. The first theory, is that Huck will slow down very very minutely to sub-speed of light, then the spit will travel at the speed of light. This is a boring theory, so it was discarded.

The next theory is that the spit will go faster than the speed of light. This will cause the spit to, theoretically, go back in time... which will cause the spit to hit poor Huck in the face before he even spit it out. Imagine that. This theory was hilarious, we like it.

Icecream, you scream, we all scream for icecream. People like to run around and do stuff. It's weird. Homework. Evil. We hate homework. Homework stinks. Ever wonder why Windows 95/98 crashes SOOO much? Me too. Wabba wabba. I know this paragraph is totally out of wack, but hey, who cares? You expected stuff like this when you clicked on the link to read it. Don't lie. You did. Didn't you?! ANSWER ME! Fine, don't answer me. You know, it's the inconsiderate people like you who leave the toilets unflushed at the public bathrooms. You sicko. I don't even want you reading this. Okay, I want you to read this. Become my loyal reader. READ.

But what if Huck wasn't running? What if he was spinning at the speed of light? Then... theoretically, time would stop for Huck. Would he run into his spit after he spit? Who knows? Do you actually think this stuff is factual? Well.. maybe it is, maybe it's not. Who knows? I wanna go home. Take me home. I can fly!!!! Actually, no I can't. Have a nice day.

The next theory is that... Huck would never run at the speed of light and this whole article is a waste of server space. What in the world are you still reading for? Stop reading. NOW. Why are you reading this even though I told you to stop reading? Don't make me come out of the monitor and beat you up! STOP READING NOW or you'll regret it! Oh, hold on, I gotta go pee.